ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK
- Oct 28, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Nov 1, 2024
Written by: Catalina Yap
Interviews by: Katherine Hardy-McCluskey, Catalina Yap
Revised by: Katherine Hardy-McCluskey
WHAT IS ASEXUALITY?
This last week of October, Rep is celebrating Asexual Awareness Week, otherwise known as Ace Week! It is without question that asexuality is one of the most underrepresented and under acknowledged subcategories of the LGBTQ+ community. Asexuality is an umbrella term which means either not experiencing sexual attraction, or not viewing it as a necessary or pleasurable aspect of a romantic relationship. Asexuality is a spectrum, so the definition is intentionally vague, and it varies greatly from person to person. Two weeks ago, seniors Catalina Yap and Katherine Hardy-McCluskey interviewed some of Rep’s asexual-identifying students to ultimately answer the question: What does it mean to be asexual, both personally and through the lens of societal perception?
They received a couple responses:
“I feel like I’ve always sort of felt disconnected when a friend is like, ‘Oh, look at this guy, he’s so hot.’ Like sometimes I might jokingly be like, ‘Oh yeah, he’s fine,’ but, I feel like, in this day and age, it’s so common to sexualize things and people, so it’s like, I sort of feel out of place in that sense. Usually I either joke about it, or just go along like, ‘Uh, I’m not really into that, but you know, yeah, they’re pretty.” - anonymous Rep student B
“Being asexual is like, it’s so weird. ‘Cause like, I’m not aromantic, I’m demiromantic, like I feel like having a relationship would be so so so cool, but I just don’t see the need for a sexual aspect in a relationship. And everyone tells me it’s because ‘Oh, you’re only fifteen years old, you don’t know what you want,’ and I’m like, ‘Um, I think I’m pretty sure what I want,’ because everyone else my age is [sexually inclined]. And like, okay, good for you, I just never saw the appeal of [having sexual inclinations].” - Eiji Wiener (he/him)
“First of all, I’m also demisexual, so like, I’m really specific about romantic and sexual attractions. And then, I go through phases where I completely just, like, I feel completely, like, off, turned off totally. It can be for months at a time, I’m like, only attracted to a personality, I don’t think that anybody’s hot, and then it completely switches up one day. And it can fluctuate day to day, week to week, month to month. And like, of course it’s confusing, but it’s a lot less confusing than it used to be ‘cause I’m more used to it now.” - anonymous Rep student C
THE DANGER OF SOCIETAL PRESSURE
Throughout a lot of the interviewing processes, it became apparent that peer pressure to be sexually inclined was a huge factor in these students’ experiences. Whether it be the expression of physical attraction towards others, or the forming of romantic relationships, high school society revolves around the supposed “importance” of sex, often demeaning those who don’t find it as appealing as the collective.
“I never saw the appeal [of sex], and it didn’t really feel like something that was a part of me, and that’s okay. I’m still, like, I’m still whole, I’m still a human, I’m still a person, and I feel like some people don’t treat asexual people as people. But, we’re people. We just don’t want to get in your pants.” - Eiji Wiener (he/him)
Another large factor of the oppression of asexual individuals is a lack of understanding, or a collective doubt of its validity, and a huge part of that has to do with the media. Mainstream movies, television, social media, and other forms of widespread entertainment perpetuate the idea that sex is for all romantic relationships and for everyone, failing to represent the wide variety of people who don’t think the same way.
“In relationships, people tend to be a little confused because people like, in relationships, it’s always just sex stuff and not any romance and people assume that asexuals don’t get into relationships and that’s not true. All the songs we hear in the media, and the shows that we watch, it’s very sexualized.” - anonymous Rep student A
One interviewee even shared that, in Heartstopper, a TV show revered among members of the LGBTQ+ community for being a near perfect representation of queer coming-of-age, functions in a similar way as the aforementioned harmful media influences, without granting the asexual community the representation it deserves. [SPOILERS FOR SEASON TWO OF HEARTSTOPPER]
“A huge thing that I saw, this is gonna be so taboo for me ‘cause I’m queer, but in Heartstopper, in the show, all the different couples were talking about having sex with their significant other, and taking that ‘big’ and ‘brave’ step in a relationship, and, well that’s not really how it is for me. And, something that pissed me off about the way the new season of Heartstopper was written, spoilers by the way, is, in the book, there was this huge scene at the carnival where Tori and Charlie got on a ferris wheel and at the top of the ferris wheel Tori came out to Charlie as asexual. And, in the show version, they got to the top of the ferris wheel and she said nothing. There was nothing about her being asexual. They completely erased her asexuality from the show, and that was just– I was heartbroken. They got off the ferris wheel and I was like, ‘What the f*ck?’ That was, like, a huge scene I was looking forward to, ‘cause like, I read that scene over and over in the book and I was like, ‘Oh my god, I can’t wait to see this on screen.’ And then it didn’t show up. And just because they have a new character, Isaac, who’s asexual, it’s like they don’t need another asexual character. And it really shows how erased asexuality is, and that’s why it’s so important to have Asexual Awareness Week.” - Eiji Wiener (he/him)
ASEXUALITY REPRESENTATION AT REP
Overall, it’s clear that, from a societal standpoint, asexuality remains largely unacknowledged. But how about here at Rep? Being such a diverse school would presumably lend itself to having greater representation of these such minority groups, but some of the interviewees' responses were pretty eye-opening.
“Everything’s about, like, sex sex sex all the time. I would say even here at school, there’s like, GSA and stuff, but that’s more [geared] towards homosexuality. I would say it’s definitely more accepting of people’s queerness based on their sexuality and not their gender. And not, like, being asexual, or aromantic. ‘Cause it’s, I think, a lot easier to accept someone if you know they’re attracted to someone.” - anonymous Rep student C
“I kind of feel neutral on the topic of representation. Rep does a lot of the criteria of representation on its own. There isn’t much of asexuals, but I don’t really have anything to say about that.” - anonymous Rep student A
“I feel like, since there’s, you know, fellow asexuals here, like this is a very LGBTQ+ [accepting] space, like there’s a lot of people from different spectrums, it’s slightly better. But of course there’s still gonna be people who are like, you know, we’re teenagers so of course there’s gonna be a sexual view of things. Repertory definitely is slightly better than outside.”
- anonymous Rep student B
“[Rep is] definitely a lot more accepting than in some other areas I’ve been to, like, when I talk to some other friends outside of school, it’s like sex is the only thing they want to talk about. But when I’m here, It’s just like, everyone knows I’m asexual, but no one really cares. No one comes up to me and asks weird questions, they just treat me like I’m a normal person, and that’s what I really like about it.” - Eiji Wiener (he/him)
While being varyingly positive, the more negative responses warrant a re-think of Rep’s policies on social education and representation. Additionally, Catalina and Katherine reported experiencing negative responses from passersby while conducting interviews. Surrounding students often jokingly stated that they were 'very sexual,' and our interviewers were, on multiple occasions, asked what asexuality even was. This further proves the necessity of Asexual Awareness Week, and the importance of allowing the voices of asexual individuals to be heard here at Rep.
Check out the following sources to learn more about asexuality, and help support our cause!
Ace Week, otherwise known as Asexual Awareness Week, is an international campaign dedicated to raising awareness and expanding education of asexuality.
Ace and aro leaders around the world are leading the way to a brighter future, and we’re proud to provide our community with tools and resources to enable all of us to grow together!
AVEN hosts the world's largest online asexual community as well as a large archive of resources on asexuality. AVEN strives to create open, honest discussion about asexuality among sexual and asexual people alike.
The Trevor Project is the leading crisis intervention nonprofit organization for LGBTQ+ young people. We provide information & support to LGBTQ+ young people 24/7, all year round.
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